What's not set in stone

Am I a whore?
Where is the line I'm not supposed to cross,
Where's the ideal,
What is justice or the prototypical maxim?
I want to be me but I want to be me the right way,
Mentality was created in me,
therefore I will use it,
and paired with truth I will end my reliance on what is not suant.


Just what I found myself scribbling down in my journal, raw. I know I've been dealing with "finding" God lately. I would say that I'm just not satisfied with taking someone else's word for it anymore, because I know I shouldn't and I have everything right in front of me to do so. I continue to see more and more that he is not the prototype that most _______ make Him out to be, or teach of Him. I am also realizing something that I have always proclaimed but never learned myself, to this degree. That I make my identity in Him, not in religion, church, people, or ideas. Because He is the only constant. Through the course of my life almost everything about me has changed, save my name, and God. God is the same and His message is, but just about everything else has and will. I know that God is unchanging but maybe the way I live should?
Basically I know what is set in stone, what there is no wavering from, But that which isn't I think I'm kind of playing with if you will.

Oh feelings

I just finished watching Equilibrium, needless to say it is an amazing movie. I should have known seeing that Christian Bale is the star, my two favorite movies "Empire of the Sun", and "Newsies" both star him. I'm sure almost everyone has already seen it but it was awesome, a mix between "Matrix" and "V for Vendetta".

I feel inspired, hehe pun intended.

Culturally Relevant

"I don’t understand why cross-cultural missionaries attempt to understand culture to present the gospel within it, while churches in the developed world tend to simply withdraw from their own culture, often condemning its evils. Unfortunately for them, our culture is filled with people who need to see real Christianity in action — they’ve seen enough caricatures of Christianity already."

-"Brother Maynard"

Makes sense right?

Nursery

Tonight we tried to go to church at Resurrection fellowship. We took Acacia to the nursery to see how she would do. Normally we take her into the service with us but it has been increasingly harder to pay attention to the message now that she is getting more and more active. But she would not have it, as soon as we got to the sanctuary to get our seats we saw our number called on the little screen to pick her up. When we got there she was soooo upset she was crying, he face was red and she was even streaming tears. I have only seen her tear up on one occasion it was so sad! So I guess she's just not ready to part yet, we will just have to see how it goes.

Misc. Info

I've been tagged for 5 things I dig about Jesus, and 8 things about my self so here goes:

5 things I dig about Jesus

1. He has an appreciation for leftovers, the whole fish and loaves of bread thing, I honestly like most food better a second time around
2. He's blunt
3. He drank/made wine
4. He not one of those people that will take out their wrath on you when angry, ie: den of thieves and doves situation.
5. He was young, and he was pretty damn clever.

8 things about myself

1. I am attracted to green, I buy green clothes, bike, ipod, and I eat sour apple and lime flavored foods/drinks.
2. When I eat popcorn I bite off the crunchy kernel part first and eat it in one side of my mouth, then I eat the soft bulbous part in the other side. OCD.
3. I bite my lips almost every time I eat.
4. I like to perform, I've been in 2 plays, over 15 skits, one mime, and sang for my old church over 50 times.
5. I do anything artsy, paint, draw, read, write, cook, sing, play guitar, theorize, and much more.
6. I am quiet, not because I am shy but because I feel that if I honestly don't have anything to say, I won't say anything.
7. I prefer overcast, rainy, or gloomy days to sunny days. I am more artistically inspired and mentally inspired by such weather.
8. I love people, different people, with different characteristics, looks, and personalities. I like to watch and observe people.

Run Run Run

I was so excited to go on my run this morning figuring that it would be the easiest one yet, because I have gotten progressively better each time. But to my suprise it was the hardest. I was tired and out of breath after interval one! That's pretty bad I know, I could catch my breath, my rythm was off and I just wasn't getting it. It felt like I was having an asthma attack, which I haven't experienced since I was young. But I think my body is just testing me, trying to size me up and see if I'm really serious about this. I'm sure Friday will be much better.

Father's Day praise

Happy Father's Day Jordan!
You have been such an amazing father, and I am so proud of how easily you switched to fatherhood, you are a blessing and me and Acacia love you very much!

Artwork

This is my most recent painting, which really isn't very recent. It was done about two months ago. I don't paint as often as would like but I think I'm going to try to make more time for it.

Homemaker

I am suprised how domesticated I hve become. I've never been one much for rising early, cooking, or cleaning but I have found myself doing all these over this past week. I'm am usually a night owl staying up till 2 or 3 and sleeping till around 11 but I have been going to bed around 12 and waking up at 7! That is big for me. The only thing I've ever really gotten up early for was surfing. I didn't even get up for school most of the time, back in high school. I've also cooked almost every meal this week using new recipes. And today I made these scones that even my brother-in-law thought were amazing. It's been fun being mommy and homemaker. I'm so proud of Acacia too because she has been going along with my new schedule and taking 3 naps around the same time each day. She has conquered her fear of taking a bath and now takes one each night right before she goes to sleep. She's really a little angel and Im very lucky!
And to top it off I've been having lots of time for reading with Acacia napping and all. And if you know me you know I LOVE reading. Now I can actually start off the day with a devo and prayer (which I've been trying to do for the past 6 months)
I never thought I would be a routine person, but I'm actually really enjoying it.

Bolder Boulder

I am so excited because I am going to start training for the Bolder Boulder race with the hubby. I have NEVER been very good at running but I'm determined to work on that. My sister in law knows of a work out program that will take you from couch to 5k, which is exactly what I need. I'm no couch potato but when it comes to running I might as well be. I know Jordan is happy about it because he is a big runner, and has been pushing me to start running with him ever since we started dating. So I'll give it a try!

70s Star Trek

So I ended up watching an old school Star Trek episode tonight, I've never cared for Star Trek much, I think because I've only seen the newer episodes and the aliens on the show always make me a little uneasy. They are just too similar to humans in form, but they definetely aren't humans. Anyway I have never seen the William Shatner era of Star Trek before and I found myself really enjoying it. It has the vintage show feel to it, like "I dream of Jeanie", "Gilligan's Island" and such. I love the women with the big flipped hair and fake eye lashes and the men who have the bangs combed to the side and the rest of their hair combed all the way back. It was pretty awesome. I also never realised how ahead of their time Star Trek was, with their multi-racial cast and all. With the scottish man, the african woman, asian man, and Spock whatever he is. I found it kind of interesting because of all the 70s shows and movies I've seen (at least early 70s) I haven't noticed much racial diversity. I just found that observation kind of interesting. It was an overal pleasant experience.

Sexy ice cream

So me and Jordan were having a convesation about the Ice cream names of a certain generic brand we buy from King Soopers. As we were eating our English Toffee Temptation, we contemplated the name of the peant butter ice cream, Peanut Butter Passion. I honestly would never think to put the words peanut butter and passion together in a sentence, ever. I am biased though because I don't care much for peanut butter. So as we consumed our ice cream we came up with some possible ideas for ice cream flavors in the future such as: lemon lust, sultry strawberry, vanilla virgin, adulturous apple, and orange... well you get the picture.

Boxes

So today me and Jordan were doing our morning readings and as I was reading I began to realize once again that God really doesn't fit into this box I've made for Him. The more I see Him the more I comprehend that I won't completely understand Him till I meet Him. Mighty but gentle, and loving but will punish. It gives me a reverence for Him, which is good.

I'm the Boss

So I've decided that I'm the Boss is the most fun game I've ever played, especially when played at the Bells house.