So I made here to Colorado safely after almost 24 hours of straight driving except for the 4 hour interlude for sleep. It was a long drive but interesting. But I am glad it is over, it makes the trip more worth it knowing that we don't have to re drive it in a couple of weeks. I don't think I am fully used to being here yet, I keep thinking I am on vacation and find myself expecting to be back home in San Diego. It's nice out here this time of year, Lot's of trees, lots of green and it's not a scorching 90 degrees like in El Cajon.
I am so glad I had the chance to reunite with old friends before our departure from California, it made me realize how blessed I am to have people that I love so much, in my life. I hope I can keep in contact with most of them but I know how moving goes. I'm sure I will keep in touch with those who I'm supposed to.
Well I'm glad I'm here and Acacia seems to be adjusting well, but we do miss my family terribly! My mom and brother are thinking of moving out here once she completes her masters degree. Hopefully that is soon, because I know they miss us too. Other than that things are great :)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
setting sail
Only 3 days till we leave for Colorado! I can't believe how fast this last month went by, seems like we just decided last week that we were leaving. I still don't wholly feel like we are leaving, but I'm sure it will kick in at our going away party or the night before we take off. I can't imagine life away from San Diego yet, it will be very different from what I'm used to. But my home is in God so I know that wherever I go I will still be at home. I hope we find a home church there fairly quickly, and that we will just know where God wants us.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Heaven
Today me and the hubby sat down at a local coffee shop with a good friend of mine and shared conversation. He is attending seminary and writing a paper on Heaven. We talked a little about Heaven and our understanding of it. I recounted the fear I had as a young child of Heaven, the thought of a place, a life, a situation enduring endlessly and how it gave me an anxiety that I don't know how to explain. It was a fear that eventually led me to push the thought of Heaven from my mind. I feel that in turn it has affected my spiritual life. Recently I have felt God working on my heart, reminding me to look to the things above and not only at this life here on earth. Reminding me that even though I don't understand Heaven, it is a wonderful place where I will be united with Him. Also I felt Him reminding me that I am a stranger here in a foreign land, to not take what happens to me here with the utmost seriosness, and anxiety. I do need to live in this world as a reflection of His light and glory , but also know that this is not my true home. To let go of some of the anxiety and know that the best is yet to come. I was told by my friend that I am not the only one who has these fears which I find consolation in. I think by pushing Heaven back into the least explored places of my mind I've falied to have the mindset of constantly seeking the kingdom of God. I think I will let God continue to work on my heart, set my mind on the things above and remember that ultimately I am just passing through. I so enjoy these conversations we have.
Friday, May 11, 2007
For Me
Sometimes I need to remind myself to just be still and know that He is God.
To be quiet, sink, let go, relax, abate, refrain, withdraw
I could definetely stand to do that and just wait for God, so I'm going to be quiet now.
Ps. 46:10a
To be quiet, sink, let go, relax, abate, refrain, withdraw
I could definetely stand to do that and just wait for God, so I'm going to be quiet now.
Ps. 46:10a
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Sleep?
I have such a horrible sleeping schedule. I find myself laying awake in bed everynight for an hour or two before I finally give up trying to force myself into slumper. I finally give up and find myself right here, sitting at this machine searching for a way to entertain myself to sleep.
I know that it is horrible to eat before one goes to sleep but I just had a huge plate of chicken pesto pasta. I made it today with corn/vegtable gluten free twisty pasta. I'm trying to eat wheat free products because so far two people in my family have been tested positive for celiac disease. If you have celiac disease you can still eat wheat but with rather undesirable consequences, the wheat will in fact break your intestinal tract down. I haven't been tested for this ailment but I figure I might as well stay away. I get abdonimnal cramps and headaches when I eat wheat products so I figure I'm fine without them. Although wheat-free pasta is not nearly as good as semolina pasta, it lacks the alluring taste of traditional pasta. If anyone is reading this I am really now writing merely for the sake of my own entertainment so don't feel you must commit to reading the remainder of this entry. I don't know how I got in this aweful predictament. I suppose my schdule of sleep was altered by my night-wakings by Acacia, but now her sleep schedule has leveled out and mine it still out of wack. It's actually amazing how well she sleeps for a 4 month old, she will sleep on a average a whole 12 hours at night! I wish I could sleep that well. Even my dog Ocean sleeps better than me at night! It's just not right. I actually do try to take advantage of the energy I have and clean, read, do my daily exercise (hip hop abs with Sean T, if any of you have seen the infomercial) and fold laundry. Well anyway, I think something that might have a factor in my sleeplessness is I think about the move alot. I am happy to move to Colorado, and excited as I have been in San Diego, California my whole life. But I am also sad, I am sad to leave my family and the friends I have had for so long. There are some very special people here. I really haven't spent a whole lot of time with them since I've been married and had my daughter, but it's the memories. I miss those days. I wouldn't trade it for the here and now but I do have sentimental value for San Diego. I will miss the summers here of surfing, cliff jumping, beach, favorite coffee shops, and the people. I know that now I am begining a whole new life so I will make new friends and memories but still a part of me is saddened by all this. But I know that Jordan is very happy to move back, he is moving back to his family, friends, and memories. I'm sure it will be great once we get there but as of now I'm a little forlorn, but I will have my family and it will be nice to start our own life. Kind of a fresh start, actually a great blessing :)
I know that it is horrible to eat before one goes to sleep but I just had a huge plate of chicken pesto pasta. I made it today with corn/vegtable gluten free twisty pasta. I'm trying to eat wheat free products because so far two people in my family have been tested positive for celiac disease. If you have celiac disease you can still eat wheat but with rather undesirable consequences, the wheat will in fact break your intestinal tract down. I haven't been tested for this ailment but I figure I might as well stay away. I get abdonimnal cramps and headaches when I eat wheat products so I figure I'm fine without them. Although wheat-free pasta is not nearly as good as semolina pasta, it lacks the alluring taste of traditional pasta. If anyone is reading this I am really now writing merely for the sake of my own entertainment so don't feel you must commit to reading the remainder of this entry. I don't know how I got in this aweful predictament. I suppose my schdule of sleep was altered by my night-wakings by Acacia, but now her sleep schedule has leveled out and mine it still out of wack. It's actually amazing how well she sleeps for a 4 month old, she will sleep on a average a whole 12 hours at night! I wish I could sleep that well. Even my dog Ocean sleeps better than me at night! It's just not right. I actually do try to take advantage of the energy I have and clean, read, do my daily exercise (hip hop abs with Sean T, if any of you have seen the infomercial) and fold laundry. Well anyway, I think something that might have a factor in my sleeplessness is I think about the move alot. I am happy to move to Colorado, and excited as I have been in San Diego, California my whole life. But I am also sad, I am sad to leave my family and the friends I have had for so long. There are some very special people here. I really haven't spent a whole lot of time with them since I've been married and had my daughter, but it's the memories. I miss those days. I wouldn't trade it for the here and now but I do have sentimental value for San Diego. I will miss the summers here of surfing, cliff jumping, beach, favorite coffee shops, and the people. I know that now I am begining a whole new life so I will make new friends and memories but still a part of me is saddened by all this. But I know that Jordan is very happy to move back, he is moving back to his family, friends, and memories. I'm sure it will be great once we get there but as of now I'm a little forlorn, but I will have my family and it will be nice to start our own life. Kind of a fresh start, actually a great blessing :)
Monday, May 7, 2007
Hamas Mickey Mouse
On Hamas' official television station, Al Aqsa-TV, airs a children's program featuring a mickey mouse look-alike named Farfur. On this show he is seen teaching a young girl the ABCs of terror, annilation of the Jews, the honor of martrydom and the sacrifice of one's soul for the Hamas. Children grow up so fast these days. Pretty crazy.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Green Theory
So today I found myself thinking about the presidential campaigns going on right now and a rumor I heard about Al Gore wanting to run for presidency just to sway the democratic vote in efforts of spite towards Hillary Clinton. I guess there's bad blood there. Which got me thinking about Al Gore in general. I know he's recently gone green and produced the documentary, An Inconvenient Truth. I guess he is out to save our planet from the "climate crisis", don't get me wrong I'm all about being good to our earth and taking care of what we have but it just seems a little random to me. So I did a little research and I found out something rather interesting about our former vice president.
Fact :
Al Gore was born March 31, 1948
Fact:
On July 2, 1947 an incident happened in the small town of Roswell, New Mexico. It was then that the first major UFO sighting/crash occured.
That is almost exactly 9 months before Al Gore was born, coincidence?
Question:
Was there really a UFO crash in Roswell?
No one can really know for sure but I've been there myself and I do know that the residents of that town sure seem to think so.
But more importantly...
Question:
Could Gore have an ulterior motive for his environmentally friendly effort? Could he be preparing the planet for something or someone?
I'm not insinuating anything, I'm simply laying out the facts for you, you can decide for yourself. Did Gore go green for the environment or for a whole other green reason...
I know, I'm a dork. But I was bored.
Fact :
Al Gore was born March 31, 1948
Fact:
On July 2, 1947 an incident happened in the small town of Roswell, New Mexico. It was then that the first major UFO sighting/crash occured.
That is almost exactly 9 months before Al Gore was born, coincidence?
Question:
Was there really a UFO crash in Roswell?
No one can really know for sure but I've been there myself and I do know that the residents of that town sure seem to think so.
But more importantly...
Question:
Could Gore have an ulterior motive for his environmentally friendly effort? Could he be preparing the planet for something or someone?
I'm not insinuating anything, I'm simply laying out the facts for you, you can decide for yourself. Did Gore go green for the environment or for a whole other green reason...
I know, I'm a dork. But I was bored.
The begining of something beautiful
It has really been too long since I've put my thoughts down on a piece of paper, for about 4 years I kept journals consistantly of my thoughts, what God was showing me, basically what was on my heart or just in my head. So I've come to the conclusion that I spend more time wasted on the computer than I should, but I'm thinking I'll turn it to good and use some of it writing. So here it is.
I suppose I could start out by explaining the gravity of the phrase "Till we have faces" in my life.
First off Till we have faces is a book written by the great author Clive Staples Lewis. It is my favorite book. This book is Lewis' rendition of the classic greek myth of Cupid and Psyche. Basically it is a story of two Princesses, one ugly and one beautiful; and the struggle between sacred and profane love. Till we have faces means that our perceptions can fail us, and how in the name of doing what we think right, we can do so much wrong.
So to get to the point sometimes we don't look past what we can see with our own eyes, and we despair. We ask "Why God would you do this to me or how can you let this happen to me", and "Why have you forsaken me?" But God is there working in a way that we may not be able to see and why is that? We might not be ready, we may not be in a place to recieve and may not have our understanding fully developed. How can we see when we've yet to have a face? How can God talk to me when I don't have a face to share conversation with. This is something that really hits home to me, I've spent my share of time thinking "God what is going on, why? Where are you" and of course we all go through times where we don't quite understand why things are happening the way they are, at least I do. So to remember this phrase in times where I am not completely in a good understanding of my situation is a great help. It's kind of like looking in a mirror dimly lit, not so good. But when face to face, much better.
I suppose I could start out by explaining the gravity of the phrase "Till we have faces" in my life.
First off Till we have faces is a book written by the great author Clive Staples Lewis. It is my favorite book. This book is Lewis' rendition of the classic greek myth of Cupid and Psyche. Basically it is a story of two Princesses, one ugly and one beautiful; and the struggle between sacred and profane love. Till we have faces means that our perceptions can fail us, and how in the name of doing what we think right, we can do so much wrong.
So to get to the point sometimes we don't look past what we can see with our own eyes, and we despair. We ask "Why God would you do this to me or how can you let this happen to me", and "Why have you forsaken me?" But God is there working in a way that we may not be able to see and why is that? We might not be ready, we may not be in a place to recieve and may not have our understanding fully developed. How can we see when we've yet to have a face? How can God talk to me when I don't have a face to share conversation with. This is something that really hits home to me, I've spent my share of time thinking "God what is going on, why? Where are you" and of course we all go through times where we don't quite understand why things are happening the way they are, at least I do. So to remember this phrase in times where I am not completely in a good understanding of my situation is a great help. It's kind of like looking in a mirror dimly lit, not so good. But when face to face, much better.
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